The Raven Boys ~ Maggie Stiefvater

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️½

Way back when in 2016, (which is officially way back... yeah) I was in a group on Goodreads and it was decided that we would read The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater. Well, the fact that I'm here in 2019 reading the book for the first time shows how well that went for me. However, I'm glad I read this book now as a mature 19 year old, because I don't think I would've enjoyed it as much if I read it while I was still an angsty 16 year old girl.

Blue Sargent has stood by her psychic mother every year as she counts the soon-to-be-dead that walk past. Blue has never seen them herself until this year, when a boy seems to emerge from the darkness and speaks directly to her. Gansey is one of the richer students at Aglionby, the local private school and Blue has a personal policy of staying away from those kinds of boys. Also known as The Raven Boys. However, Blue is drawn to Gansey. He has it all, family money, good looks, devoted friends, but he doesn't seem to care about any of that. He is on a quest that encompassed three of his friends - three other Raven Boys: Adam, who is at Aglionby on a scholarship and resents all the privilege around him; Ronan, the troubled, fierce soul that has ranged emotions and is closed off from almost everyone; and Noah, the quiet watcher or follower of the group, who notices many things but says very little. These boys don't fit the strict stereotype Blue has built in her head, they may have some of the qualities but they are not typical the typical Aglionby boys. For as long as she can remember, Blue has been warned that she will cause her true love to die. She never thought this would be a problem but now that her life has been caught up in The Raven Boys quest, she's not so sure anymore.

I need to give a quick thank you to Maggie Stiefvater for writing this amazing book (and series!). Also to the group that brought this book to my attention in 2016. It was so incredibly good. I went into it with high hopes, which typically leaves people disappointed, but I wasn't even close to disappointed! At the beginning I was confused with the plot and the characters, so much so that I almost thought about putting it down to pick up later, but THANK GOD I didn't end up doing that. It made sense the more I read and honestly that's just how most books are now, so I need to get used to it. I was anxiously turning the last 150 pages of this book. I gasped in a quiet room every time I thought something bad was happening... it was embarrassing but I don't care (welcome to college)!

Once I better understood the plot and characters, the book was much more enjoyable to me. I understand how other people became attached to the characters because I definitely am too. I for sure didn't look up fan art after I was finished... (don't judge me). There are so many things I want from the rest of series. I hope I get answers to some of the questions I have and to the things left unanswered.

A Very Large Expanse Of Sea ~ Tahereh Mafi

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I had seen this book floating around on Goodreads and a few of the Booktubers I watch have read it so I thought I'd give it a try. It easily became my first 5 star read of 2019. Thank you, Tahereh Mafi for writing this beautiful story with beautiful characters.

This story is set only a year after 9/11, in 2002. It's an extremely sensitive time in the United States. You never think a terrorist attack can happen to your country until it does, most people are now on edge deathly afraid that another one is bound to happen. This makes it hard for someone like Shirin, a sixteen year old Muslim girl to live in the U.S. She also is tired of being stereotyped and is angry that people can be so horrible to her. She never did anything to hurt them but they are too willing to hurt her. Shirin is tired of the rude stares, degrading comments and occasional physical violence that happens because of her race, religion and the hijab she wears. She has built up protective walls and refuses to get close to anyone except her parents and her brother. Instead she drowns out her never ending frustration through music, specifically by breakdancing in the afternoons with her brother. One day a guy, Ocean James, accidentally bumps into Shirin with his biology book and after their first encounter everything is different. He is the first person in forever who really seems to want to get to know Shirin. It terrifies her because they seem to come from two irreconcilable worlds and Shirin has had her guard up for so long she's not sure she'll every be able to let it down. But Ocean is determined to break down her walls, he wants to know everything he is able to find out about Shirin - he knows she's different but in the best and most beautiful way.

I love this book soooo much. It is my first (and hopefully not the last) five star book of 2019! Woo! This book was written so beautifully, the previous book I read is nothing compared to this one. Shirin and Ocean's relationship was so perfect. Ocean not being afraid of saying this is so respectable and it was perfect how that impressed Shirin. I loved that no matter how hard she tried she couldn't keep her walls up from him. Ocean was such a pure character and he is now my new book boyfriend (sorry ladies). My thoughts are so jumbled and I can't seem to write well but it's because I'm so shocked by how much I just LOVED this book. It's my favorite book I've read in 2019 as of right now (January 18th).

I loved it so much that I went and got a signed copy at Barnes & Noble. So worth it and I already know that I will be rereading this!

Turtles All The Way Down ~ John Green

Rated: ⭐️⭐️

Considering that John Green is one of my favorite authors, I had high hopes going into this book. Hoping it would be one of my new favorites like Looking for Alaska. But it got no where near that.

Aza Holmes is just a sixteen year old girl going through high school with her best friend Daisy and dealing with the ups-and-downs of having major anxiety. She never intended to pursue the mystery of fugitive billionaire Russel Pickett but Daisy, being the fearless woman she is, is eager to investigate. The hundred thousand dollar reward is motive for Daisy but Aza is more interested in rekindling with her childhood friend Davis Pickett, who just so happens to be Russel's son. Aza is trying to live her life but figuring out a billionaire mystery, dealing with Daisy's antics and starting a new kind of relationship with Davis is all too much. Meanwhile, she deals with the constant voices in her head telling her that she is going to contract a major disease every time she does anything! It's hard to confront anxiety and if Aza doesn't do it soon she'll be stuck in her own spiraling thoughts unable to live a normal life like she wants.

The synopsis of this book on Goodreads is so inaccurate. This book is not about Aza solving the mystery of Russel Pickett and the hundred thousand dollar reward. It's the constant battle of anxiety in her head. Which don't get me wrong, it's good to have characters suffering from mental illness but not when I thought the story was going to be about something completely different. The synopsis doesn't mention, not once, that Aza suffers major anxiety and that a majority of the non-existent plot would be about that instead of the mystery. I was very disappointed by that. Second, I think Aza's character could've been written better. It's my personal opinion but, I think a different (more realistic) kind of anxiety would've fit this story better. Not to the point where it almost immobilizes her. Then the focus of the ACTUAL plot would be the mystery and not Aza freaking out that eighty four million of Davis' microbes are in her mouth after kissing him and that if she doesn't put hand sanitizer in her mouth she's gonna die.

It's an interesting way to write a character but I think it could've been done more tastefully and more realistic. I don't want anyone to think that I'm trashing on people with major anxiety, because at one point I had major anxiety like that (not to the point of hand sanitizer in my mouth but in a different way) and I think that it is important to write about characters with mental illness. But if John Green wanted to write a story about mental illness he should've written about mental illness and gotten rid of the billionaire mystery business that was completely unnecessary and misleading.